Negotiation for Teens!

Like many other dads of teens the constant struggle is where to draw the lines & where to remain flexible - an older guy with grown up kids said to me once - 'choose your battles carefully, you may not want to go to war over a 'short skirt' - but once you have drawn your lines defend them like the Alamo !' good advice. So the issue of my sons hair was a case in point - he is a 16 year old muso so needs 'long hair'. Despite my constant references to Wookies he seemed pretty commited despitre the fact that baring a few breif moments after washing it, he constantly looked like Wurzle Gummage (or his lookalike 'Boris Johnson!!) - so we made a 'deal'. I agreed that he could self regulate the length of his hair and it was entirely up to him to decide how long it was grown too before he got it cut, it could be as long as he liked BUT if I got one complaint from the school about it then the choice reverted to me and that I would be able to take him to the barbers and I would decide how long it would be - about 2 weeks later at the parents evening I got 2 fully fledged, authentic, genuine, 'concerns' expressed about the Wookie impressions - to say I enjoyed the covnersation I had upon my return would be to understate it a tad !! The appointment at the barbers was sweet indeed. The even better news was that now 'self regulation' is embedded in his 'risk strategy' - there is no way he wants to give me that kind of power again so he now 'self regulates' at a far more 'appropriate' length.