Hancock without the cock-ups!

I loved “Hancock”. Dismissed by many as chewing gum for the eyes, for me it confirmed some things.
Will Smith plays an inebriated chaotic super-hero vigilante who dismisses life as pointless whilst embarking on life-saving acts! Change is engineered by Ray, a consultant who attempts to give Hancock a “Gok-over” and sort out his image – yet even with a “slightly tight outfit” and a mouthful of nice-ities Hancock is no more at ease.
It’s only as Hancock embarks upon a journey of self-discovery that he begins to find meaning and purpose and answers to some of his, and our, deepest questions.

In my role as a business coach I often meet a whole range of “Hancocks”. People who have never really discovered who they are and certainly never had an answer to the question “Am I ok?”

They are often insecure, controlling and at times so fragile that people who walk around them do so on eggshells. These are not people who lack talent, far from it – they are often super-heroes in their own sphere – however, their sense of self-hood is somewhat brittle as they still send out those signals looking for an answer to the “Am I ok” question.

All of the research, and I mean all of it, has shown that the main determinant upon a child’s security as they move from childhood to adulthood is the sense of belief, affirmation and esteem invested in them by parents. It is impossible to neglect how important this is. Lack of investment in this area early on means for many that they spend the rest of their lives trying to make up for it. “Ok-deficit” is a modern-day disease.

To ensure that there is an affirmative answer to the “Am I ok?” question, we have to start at the very beginning. It’s the first touch, cuddle and then slightly awkward but very important conversation. This is about providing connection points, creating the habit of intimacy and putting in place those early building blocks of self confidence and self esteem.
We are told that the vast majority of a child’s mental and emotional development takes place in those first 5 years, and so as a dad we have a crucial role of providing that solid foundation of self-confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem in their young lives.
Each kids emotional and intellectual antennae are at heightened awareness as they seek to receive signals back from those around them as to whether or not the “Am I ok?” question can be answered positively. One of our jobs as dads is to ensure that there is no pause or uncertainty in answering that question.
“Hancock” without the “cock-ups!” – let’s put it like that!